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ED or not ED? That is the Question
By Lou Lombardo, LMT, NCTMB
“There’s something basically honest about people wearing their best underwear to a party, even
though it isn’t going to show”.
Andy Rooney
You know what’s really been bothering me lately? One thing that’s got me riled is Madison Avenue’s continuous efforts to exploit us baby boomers. I’m talking about all those commercials for men’s products that claim to put some zip where our zipper is, Ever since we were born, advertisers have targeting our generation and our parents with all sorts of products designed to get us to spend money to make our lives more pleasurable and convenient. Think about it. In 1950, when many of us were still crawling around, the disposable diaper was invented. Don’t you think that the target audience of that product was the parents of all of us baby Then fast forward to 1964, when some of us became old enough to drive. Ford came out with a model they called the Mustang- the poor man’s corvette. Once again the target consumer was those of us graduating from high school who wanted some sporty transportation that didn’t cost as much as the “Sting Ray”. When we were old enough to get married the auto industry engineered the mini-van to accommodate the large number of us beginning to raise a family. As we got older, and our hair began to get a little grayer, the "Grecian Formula’ products hit the And, for those who were losing it on top, many hair restoration products like “Rogaine” became Now as we enter the next phase of our lives, we boomers are being bombarded with ads for ED, which by the way has nothing to do with emotional development. ED is when you’re losing it in an area a little more south of the top of your head. To give you an example of such ads I nearly drove into a telephone pole the other day when a woman came on the radio asking me if I wanted great sex, free, for one month. That’s quite an offer. Let And she didn’t allow enough time to pull over to write down the telephone number. Not that I was Lately similar ads have been appearing in sports magazines touting another of these so called uplifting remedies. Their lead in- “The bad news is the movie is sold out. The good news is the movie is sold out.” Then they pitch their product. Like, there’s nothing else to do, so let’s go home and use their And now Madison Ave. has us thinking about which financial consultant we should be hiring to I can’t wait to see the ads for burial plots and the special prices on mausoleums. Come to think of it, I can wait. And, what will they pitch next when we are all gone? Another thing that’s been a craw in my throat is the incomplete information given about recent sports injuries to professional athletes. I don’t mean the “accidental overdose” by Terrill Owens of the Dallas Cowboys. I could care less about him. I’m talking about the injuries to Pedro Martinez, a pitcher for the New York Mets. He’s another player I could do without. Although I do root for the Mets, my third- favorite team. Speaking of favorite baseball teams I recently read an obituary that appeared in a newspaper about a man who had passed away. I swear I’m not making this up. The notice described this person as a devoted husband, a loving father and an avid baseball fan whose favorite team is whoever is playing against the New York Yankees. My sentiments exactly! Except that my first favorite team is the Cleveland Indians. Anyway, back to Martinez’s condition. He was recently diagnosed as having a torn tendon in his calf muscle. I’m sure every one of you readers out there know that there are a couple of muscles that make up the calf, or the area on the back of our lower leg. They are the gastrocnemii and soleus. The “gastrocs” assist us in flexing our knee and, along with the soleus, allow us to plantar flex our ankle (point our foot down). You will also remember that tendons connect muscles to bones. The muscle-tendon junction and the periosteal junctions are common areas for a tear to occur. So Pedro tore his calf muscle. Why don’t they tell us which calf muscle was torn? Is it a conspiracy of sorts? You would think that with everything we have to divulge as a result of the “Patriots Act” we would get a clear answer to this question? A few days after this calf muscle injury hit the stands, Martinez was diagnosed with a “rotator cuff” injury. Once again, couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. But also once again, incomplete information. If you have been paying attention to this column and taking copious notes you will recall that our “rotator cuff” consists of four muscles in and around our scapula (shoulder blade). They are the supraspinatus, infraspinatus, teres minor and subscapularis. The supraspinatus abducts the humerus- takes our arm away from our body. The other three muscles allow us to rotate our shoulders and adduct them- (bring the arm back toward the body). A rotator cuff injury is common among baseball pitchers and the muscle that usually is injured is the over stretched and weak infraspinatus. So, which one of Pedro rotator cuff was injured? I want to know. You want to know. Inquiring minds want to know, too. So I hope you will all join me in demanding more info from the media about reported sports injuries and, while we’re at it, the less said about ED the better. (Lou Lombardo is a NYS Licensed Massage Therapist, nationally certified by the NCBTMB and is a certified
Strength Training Specialist. For questions, comments or more information you can contact him at (585) 734-2200 or
by e-mail at lombardolm@aol.com)

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